Divorce doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out battle with a winner and loser. Couples split up for any number of reasons, and every divorce doesn’t have to be a contentious fight. Divorce laws are designed to create an equitable outcome for all parties, and spouses who have maintained open communication have options to avoid some of the challenges of conventional divorce.
As you decide the best route for dissolving your marriage, consider collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce can be more private and respectful than conventional, litigated divorce.
A study by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals found most cases resolved collaboratively were completed within eight months. Only three percent took more than two years and 86 percent of all cases ended with all issues in the case settled between the parties.
How does the process work?
Each spouse needs to work with their own legal representation. You will meet with your attorney individually to determine what your ideal outcome from the divorce includes. Collaborative divorces involve face-to-face meetings where the spouses and lawyers discuss each set of goals and work to resolve remaining differences.
Additionally, the collaborators may bring in neutral third-parties for more detailed advice. These include specialists in child custody, financial advisors and mental health professionals, according to the IACP.
What about cost?
Cost varies with every divorce. Court fees, legal fees, expert input and other factors contribute to cost differences. The cost will also vary by state. An uncontested divorce in New York can cost as little as $335 between filing and court fees. This is a baseline figure and doesn’t include the price of an attorney, but it is helpful to realize that divorce is not designed to be a financial burden.
What if we can’t resolve the divorce collaboratively?
Clearly, collaboration will not work in every divorce. However, your options are not limited if you choose to begin the divorce process collaboratively.
If a collaboration does not end with an agreement, the case can still move forward through adversarial divorce proceedings. Be aware that if collaboration does not work, you and your spouse will be required to find new representation than whoever worked with you in collaborative proceedings.
How collaboration in divorce may bring more financial security?
When it comes to New York divorces, many spouses are concerned about their future financial stability. Increasingly, couples are working toward collaborative solutions in divorce that can lead to more financially secure futures. Many ex spouses and financial experts have reported better outcomes using this approach.
One step in this process is to create a divorce “team” that includes a financial planner. An attorney and family members who can offer emotional support can complete this team. Working with a team may help better prepare a spouse to negotiate in a tense situation.
However, there should not be a rush toward a settlement. This can be both a financial and emotional mistake. Therefore, a spouse should take their time to understand the financial situation and options for property division. In addition to deciding what to do with large assets such as a home, they will also need to decide how they will handle things such as car insurance. Maintaining medical insurance, particularly for children, may also be a concern.
A collaborative approach might also be better for any children involved. It can be hard for them to watch their parents fighting over property and other assets. In addition to being easier on the family, negotiation is generally less expensive and quicker than going through litigation. It also gives spouses the opportunity to control the final settlement agreement. If they go to litigation and are unhappy with some of the judge’s decisions, there may no recourse. Legal counsel could provide valuable guidance throughout this separation process.
How might a collaborative divorce help you?
Many New Yorkers, yourself included, might be under the assumption that having significant assets and child custody concerns automatically means you are heading to court when you seek a divorce. Fortunately, there are uncontested options that can have significant advantages over litigation, if an uncontested divorce is right for you. Collaborative law can be especially beneficial when you have complex property division or child custody issues to work out with your spouse. It is important to understand how a collaborative divorce works because the process is somewhat more complicated than a mediated divorce.
According to FindLaw, collaborative law shares numerous advantages with mediation over litigation, which can include the following:
- Being more cost-effective and less time-consuming than taking your disputes to court
- Significantly reducing the conflict you and your children experience during the divorce process
- Allowing you and your spouse to air out your disagreements in a neutral environment
- Being private, rather than your disputes becoming a matter of public record
- Allowing both of you to reach mutually agreeable solutions to your disagreements
- Showing you valuable skills in negotiation, communication and compromise that you can continue to use throughout your life, especially while co-parenting
Unlike mediation, which does not require each spouse to have an attorney, you and your spouse will have your own attorneys during a collaborative divorce. You may also involve additional professionals, such as child therapists, financial advisors and tax professionals. The process requires everyone to agree not to litigate, or your attorneys will need to resign from the case. This gives you and your spouse an incentive to see the process through to the end, rather than giving up too quickly and allowing a judge to make decisions that might not be in your best interests.
When you are ready to file for divorce, it is wise to educate yourself on the available options and how they work.
Important points to consider with collaborative divorce
Many divorces in New York are rife with disagreement and complexities. This is especially true for couples with relatively high incomes and assets who are thinking about how they will move forward after the divorce is complete. For couples who are amicable enough, collaborative divorce might be an alternative worth exploring.
This approach comes with many potential benefits
While collaborative divorce requires flexibility and a willingness to accommodate the other party, many couples find that their differences are not significant enough to warrant going to court. In these instances, a collaborative divorce can be an effective solution to avoid the time-consuming nature of a court case.
A collaborative divorce can be less expensive than a contentious divorce that goes to court. If the collaborative process is successful, there will likely be less rancor, fewer hard feelings or lasting challenges. This can be especially useful if there are children involved.
There need not be endless disputes over the exchange of information, as is often the case when a couple goes to court. With collaborative divorce, it is done voluntarily. Both parties can discuss what they are seeking as part of the settlement and work together to create an agreement that meets their satisfaction. Post-divorce concerns can be addressed, so there is no confusion as to what will happen once the process is complete.
Working with a lawyer is still key
Considering a collaborative divorce rather than a traditional divorce does not mean that legal help is unnecessary. Although a collaborative divorce may be less acrimonious, issues will inevitably arise that require advice and a divorce attorney in Rochester, NY. An experienced and caring attorney can protect a person’s interests in a collaborative divorce and help if an agreement cannot be reached and the case needs to go to court.
The driving force behind collaborative divorce
When two people marry, they do so believing that they will always agree with each other, always enjoy each other and always stay together. Unfortunately, this is not always possible. Over half of all marriages still end in divorce, and dividing one life into two can make even the most amicable people bicker.
You assume divorce involves disagreement at all levels, and that coming to a reasonable conclusion is impossible. Collaborative divorce, however, allows couples to work out the details of their uncoupling within a safe and much less hostile environment.
New York law encourages collaborative divorce
If you reside in New York, you have the opportunity to end your marriage with less conflict and more positive intentions. New York has an entire section of family law that deals with collaborative divorce. Here, you can find further information on how the collaborative process works and if your situation warrants it.
Benefits of a collaborative divorce
Collaborative divorce affords the parties involved with face-to-face sessions to hash out and resolve the terms of their divorce. One of the hallmarks of collaborative divorce is that the parties have to remain fully honest and open to compromise. The entire process relies on transparency. Dividing up property and debt and settling child custody, visitation and support can start the next phase of your life off on a much more positive foot.
Helpful hints to get through the process
New York allows a couple to participate in collaborative proceedings with the understanding that if they cannot agree, they will go back to the traditional divorce route. However, they must retain new counsel to represent them. During the collaborative process, an attorney can also step away from the client and the proceedings if he or she feels like the client is not participating in good faith.
Collaborative divorce is one way you and your spouse can end your marriage with less hostility and anger. Negotiating in good faith, remaining transparent and compromising when necessary can help make this process a success.
When is collaborative divorce a bad idea?
Many couples today see the advantage of collaborative divorce, over the traditional litigated divorce. It’s less adversarial, less public, and often less costly.
That doesn’t mean the collaborative approach will be right for you, however.
Reasons not to collaborate
Think about it. You cannot work peacefully together with someone you don’t trust … someone who has a history of domineering or abusive behavior – someone who is not as into the spirit of working peacefully together as you are. The same applies to partners with drug or alcohol problems.
Collaborative divorce is not always the best solution when substantial sums are involved, or complex financial situations. When major assets are stake, the harder it is to part with it.
Obviously, if you suspect your partner is hiding major assets, a friendly agreement about what is on the table will not do.
In short — when the person you are divorcing has treated you as an adversary for years, a traditional adversarial divorce is probably the best route to take.
The choice is yours
At Trotto Law Firm, we provide the full array of divorce options – in-court litigation, mediated divorce and collaborative divorce.
The hardest part of any divorce involves the assets most precious to you – your children, and what kind of future they will have. Collaborative divorce often succeeds in bending both sides to the best interests of the children.
Collaborative divorce seeks to put a lid on excessive emotion, to find a peaceful and practical way out of an unhappy situation. But a great deal depends on your individual situation, and what you need to happen.
We welcome the opportunity to explain your options, and to understand your story so that we can aim for the most satisfactory outcome.
