Same-sex marriages have been legal in New York since 2011. Therefore, like any other marriage, there is a possibility that couples in same-sex marriages could choose to divorce. Information on same-sex divorces is limited, but it can be helpful to understand the lesbian divorce rate in New York when deciding to get married.
Hire a Divorce Lawyer
Relationships can change over time, and couples do not always remain compatible after many years. If you are considering ending your marriage, you should hire a divorce lawyer in Rochester, NY, from Trotto Law Firm, P.C. Our team has considerable experience in these cases, so we know how to review your case and offer practical counsel.

LGBTQ Divorce Rates
Divorce rates are calculated in different ways, depending on which organization is collecting the data and what question they hope to answer. The standard for many years was to examine the number of married versus unmarried women to determine the divorce rate.
With the legalization of same-sex marriages, this method is becoming less accurate. In general, three common characteristics of divorce rates can be confusing and contribute to misinformation. These are:
- Crude divorce rate: This is a basic measurement that looks at the number of divorces in a year compared with the total population for that area. This measure is often imprecise because it includes people too young to get married.
- Share of same-sex divorces: This term describes the percentage of divorces that occur between same-sex couples. It does not describe the percentage of same-sex couples that have gotten divorced.
- Cohort divorce rate: When divorces are examined by cohort, they look at the number of divorces that have occurred for people married during a specific time period. Often going by decade, it can describe the divorce rate for that decade, but the results become less accurate for more recent decades.
Information on same-sex divorce rates is not as readily available, but some studies have been completed that include or exclusively examine same-sex divorces. These include the following:
- The National Center for Health Statistics compiles divorce rates for each state, including same-sex couples. New York had a divorce rate of 2.4 out of 1,000 residents in 2023.
- The Office for National Statistics examined same-sex marriages in England and Wales in 2023. They found that the divorce rate for same-sex female couples was 11.2 per 1,000 civil partnerships. The average length of the marriage was 6.3 years.
- Statistics Netherlands examined 20 years of same-sex marriages in 2021. Lesbian couples had a higher divorce rate after 10 years (26%) compared with male couples (14%) and heterosexual couples (16%).
- A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family examined divorce rates in Finland from 2003 to 2020. They found that same-sex female couples were 2.2 times more likely to get divorced than different-sex couples and 1.2 times more likely than same-sex male couples.
Marriage in the LGBTQ Community
There are many reasons why couples of any type enter into a marriage. There is a foundation of love, a desire to share a life together, and the idea of tradition. Marriage has been around for thousands of years and has seen its purpose change. In the LGBTQ community, the idea of marriage is a key topic of conversation.
Marrying another person comes with many benefits of the union, including shared benefits, a shared name, and the prospect of continuing a family as a united couple. For some in the LGBTQ community, they are excited to enter into marriage and follow the traditional route of an engagement, planning a wedding, holding a celebration, and much more. However, for others in the community, the idea of marriage is a sign of archaic foundations that only seek to help others gain control, property, or power.
When a couple marries, unless they institute a prenuptial agreement, life becomes about what they share and about who is entitled to what. That is why some couples in the LGBTQ community choose not to marry and instead live in a partnership that focuses on love instead of legal recognition.
LGBTQ Divorce
Lesbian couples who choose to marry are subject to the same New York divorce laws as heterosexual couples. They are also entitled to the same rights and privileges. With those rights and privileges come the expectations that, as a married couple, they adhere to the same laws and grounds for divorce that are allowed for specific reasons. These include:
- One spouse is cruel or endangers the other spouse.
- One spouse abandons the other for a year or more.
- One spouse is confined to prison for at least three years, beginning after the marriage.
- One spouse commits adultery.
- The couple has lived apart for more than a year after a formal separation decree.
- There are irreconcilable differences within the marriage for more than 6 months.
The legal system is nondiscriminatory. Therefore, any lesbian couple who wishes to seek a divorce for any of the above reasons must also follow the same due process as heterosexual couples in working toward a divorce settlement.
Decisions must be made on several factors, including child support, child custody, property division, and spousal support. Regardless of who is married, a legal marriage is required to follow the same legal divorce guidelines.
Lesbian couples who choose to divorce, like other divorcing couples of any relationship style, are encouraged to work with one another in reaching agreements on these aspects. That way, they can avoid frustrating and difficult arguments that could create more tension than solutions.
Child Custody
For some same-sex couples, child custody can seem daunting since the formation of the family may work differently than in other marriages. However, under the law, whether the child was born through in vitro fertilization or brought in through adoption, once the couple is established as the legal guardians of the child, they have a right to seek joint or sole child custody and, consequently, receive or be required to pay child support.
If one parent had a child from a previous relationship, then the same-sex spouse is not allowed to seek custody unless they formally file to become a legal guardian.
Reasons for Higher Divorce Rates Among Lesbian Couples
Marriage is difficult and requires a continuous commitment, even when it gets hard. Many couples experience difficulties or situations that they can’t move past. Getting a divorce is a good option for couples who are no longer compatible.
Lesbian divorce rates are higher than those of same-sex male couples and heterosexual couples in many divorce studies. The reasons lesbians have higher rates of divorce include:
- Getting married quickly before living together for an extended period of time
- Having children from a previous relationship
- Having higher expectations of their partners
- Being less tolerant of relationship issues
- A significant increase in the number of lesbian couples getting married

FAQs About Lesbian Divorce Rate in New York
What Is the Marriage Equality Act in New York?
The Marriage Equality Act is a law that grants same-sex couples the right to marry and have their marriage recognized, just like any other. Under this law, same-sex couples are granted all the same rights and privileges as heterosexual couples. Through this act, same-sex couples can seek a marriage license and are entitled to marriage ceremonies.
Why Do Ex-Wives Get Alimony?
Spousal maintenance could be granted as part of a final divorce decree, regardless of the gender of either spouse. Spousal maintenance is awarded based on the circumstances of the marriage, such as:
- The length of the marriage
- The earning capacity of both spouses
- The income of both spouses
- Other considerations unique to the divorce
Is Divorce the Same for Same-Sex Couples?
New York law is nondiscriminatory and, therefore, the rights and privileges awarded to the legal marriage of a same-sex couple also mean that they are required to follow the same laws of divorce. In a same-sex divorce, spouses must settle the terms of property division, child custody, spousal support, and more. A divorce attorney can assist with this process.
How Quickly Can You Get a Divorce in New York?
The circumstances of each divorce in New York are different and could create different timelines for different couples. However, the cooperation of the couple could also impact the length of time that the divorce case takes. If a divorce is uncontested, it could be resolved within weeks. If, however, the courts are busy or the couple cannot reach an agreement on the terms of their divorce, it could take months or years.
Contact a New York Family Law Attorney
No matter what type of relationship you are in, the law protects everyone; it doesn’t discriminate because of who a person chooses to spend their life with. If you have questions about how the law or your impending divorce is impacted by your relationship, contact Trotto Law Firm, P.C., and let our team answer your questions. You deserve to have someone on your side who can look out for your rights.




