Helping Children Deal With Divorce
No parent wants their child or children to suffer because of their divorce. Fortunately, there are ways to offset the difficult aspects of separating.
At Trotto Law Firm, P.C., firm principal Jonathan Trotto has helped hundreds of people and their families get through divorce intact. Jonathan and his staff take a client-centric approach to family law and offer compassionate counsel. Since 2009, they have worked to ensure that children, first and foremost, have what they need to thrive after a major change such as divorce.
Five Ways Parents Can Support Their Children During Divorce
Children know that they are a central part of a family. That is good. But it can also mean that they feel responsible for the changes that happen even when they are not. Here are five things that parents can do to help make sure their kids are supported during a divorce:
- Everyone agrees on this: Don’t argue in front of your kids. It is a major stressor to see and hear their parents angry and combative with one another because the child or children are powerless to stop it.
- For parents who get along OK, it is important to strive for some continuity. This may mean that both parents show up for conferences, take the child or children to a movie or grab a bite to eat together once a month. This may not always be possible, however, depending on the visitation rights of each parent.
- Follow through on your promises to your child or children. Show up when you say you are going to. Pay their child support in full and on time. Be on time when you pick them up.
- Communicate with the other parent about the child or children’s events and issues. This can mean health issues such as a doctor or dentist visit, a report about the child’s behavior at school or news about events in which the child or children will be participating. When both parents know what is going on in the child or children’s lives, it enhances parental continuity for the child. The transition is less emotionally jarring. Technology makes it easier than ever, and there are great apps available that help with this.
- Do not try to “make up” for getting divorced to the child. Parents can fall into the trap of becoming overly permissive or overindulging their children with gifts to assuage their own guilt about getting divorced. Divorce does not mean that you failed your children. It does mean that you still have to parent.
Divorce is a change for parents and children. Child custody can change, and resources can change. Both parents need to make an effort to ensure that their children spend quality time with both parents. Collaborative divorce offers many benefits to parents and children, and many couples who want to work together to resolve their issues find this process preferable.
Get The Divorce Guidance You Need
We will partner with you to help you understand your rights and options and keep the needs of your children a No. 1 priority. Call 585-643-7144 and speak with a member of our staff. We offer a free, confidential consultation so that you can get your questions about divorce answered. You can also reach us via email.